Invisible City
by Luna 'Tic' Vee
Summary: Jay is afraid of getting burned. He thinks. Songfic: "Invisible City" by The Wallflowers. Slash. Mush.


Invisible City  
by Luna "Tic" Vee  
***  
  
*Lookin' back at the crash site  
I don't see me by the roadside  
Well this heart is on wheels tonight  
Straight through the ghettos  
And without lights*  
  
Jay sighed as he stared out the window of the bus, as it sped along through the rain-splattered streets. He didn't quite know where he was going, just that he had to get there. He had to get away. Away from the apartment. Away from the stagnant air. Away from the suffocating emotions. Away from the uneasy silence. Away from Silent Bob.  
  
*Now every heart has a blind side  
Where it learns how to improvise  
Well this place is a whorehouse tonight  
Cheaper lovers make expensive wives*  
  
That loving way Bob always stared at him. It bored holes into his soul. Jay knew Bob loved him. He'd known it for forever. But what he didn't know was how he felt back. He was always afraid of change when it came to himself and the tubby bitch he'd spent his entire life with. What if he loved him back? What if they got together? What if they broke up? Everything would be different. No more Jay and Silent Bob, at all. Friends, or lovers, they'd be apart. He wouldn't have his sturdy, strong, and soft Bob to lean on for support when things went down the shitter.  
  
*But all of these horses  
That you chase around  
In the end they are the ones  
That always bring you down*  
  
Every last relationship Jay'd ever had, had ended in heartbreak. Usually for him. Nobody could tolerate him like that. He couldn't stand to think that Bob might break his heart too. He wasn't sure how he felt about Bob romantically, but he knew that he loved him somehow. Best friend or boyfriend was the question looming over his head. He couldn't help but shiver at the thought of Bob leaving, slamming the door one last time, while he himself sat on the floor, bawling his eyes out, crying out for Bob not to leave him. His heart clenched tight around itself as he tried to clear the image from his head.  
  
"Nah, Bob wouldn't do that... He's put up with me for all these years already..." he murmured, trying to calm himself and rationalize the situation as his mind screeched from one thing to the next, thoughts of being hurt by Bob and vice versa chasing each other around the forebrain like some morbid game of tag.  
  
*This invisible city  
Where no one sees nothing*   
Jay turned away from the window to look at everyone else. Everyone else with their own problems and worries, and desires, and sins, and lives, and loves. Everyone else lost in their own little worlds. Everyone else just trying to get by.  
  
*We're touching faces in the dark  
Feelin' pretty is so hard*  
  
Jay sighed and watched his reflection in the window, seeing fog from his breath form upon the glass. He couldn't help but smirk. He drew a little "Z?" on the window, and smiled. It reminded him of his childhood. Back in the day, when he and Bob would ride the bus to school, when they were still little kids. On rainy or cold days, they would always write things on the fogged up windows. Then they'd sign their names.  
  
"Jay and Silent Bobby," Jay breathed, fond memories returning.  
  
*Now all of these voices  
And all of these noises  
With all their illusions of choices  
They've come to my door  
With one dozen roses*  
  
Jay stepped into the dimly lit bar, watching the people around him. Some arguing, some making out, some flirting, some just having friendly conversation. Voices swirled around his head, fuzzing out most conscious thought. He watched a wisp of smoke curl through the air before fading into nothing. He sighed and found a table in the darkest corner and leaned his elbows on the table, resting his head in his hands, blonde tresses falling forward to sweep the table.  
  
He pondered his course of action for the present moment. Drink? Pick someone up to clear his mind with? Get high? Nah. All of it could only hold him off for so long. He eventually was going to have to face his predicament again.  
  
A few chicks pestered him, propositioning or just trying to flirt. A few quick insults scared them off. Women were the last thing he needed at the moment.  
  
*Now I try not to tell lies  
But there's pressures from inside*  
  
Jay let his head slip through his hands and thwap down onto the table, making an "ugh" sort of sound. Who was he kidding? He knew how he felt. He knew he loved Bob. He was too piss scared to do anything about it, though. He was afraid of getting hurt. He was afraid of losing Bob for good. He'd rather die than lose Bob.  
  
*This invisible city  
Where no one sees nothing*  
  
"This seat taken?" a young, male voice asked.  
  
"Fuck off," was Jay's reply, not even looking up to see who it was, nor registering the voice in the loud mass of sounds in the bar. It was just another voice. He just resumed propping his head up.  
  
*We're touching faces in the dark  
Feelin' pretty is so hard*  
  
"That's cold, Obi-Wan," said the voice. And before Jay knew it, a large, soft, strong hand was cupped around his jaw, stroking his smooth flesh, lingering over his sensitive neck, sliding up to run over his cheeks, then back down to cup his chin, and turn his head to see...  
  
"Bob!" Jay cried, upon seeing his smiling companion standing here. He was so beautiful when he smiled. Too bad it was rare when that happened.  
  
"You skipped out so fast, I was worried. So I decided to tail you," Bob said softly, taking a seat beside Jay.  
  
He slowly removed his hand from Jay's face, only to have the boy snatch it and stroke it against his cheek again. This took him by surprise.  
  
"Jay?"  
  
"Lunchbox, I, uh... I been doin' a lot 'a thinkin', ya know? And, uh... Fuck, I'm not good at this kinda shit..." Jay stumbled over his words, still clutching the strong hand, holding it against his chest now.  
  
Bob cocked an eyebrow, interest fixed upon Jay, and his eyes. Eyes that betrayed so much while his mouth refused to cooperate.  
  
"Shit, I'll just come out an' say it. Lunchbox, I loves you," Jay said, not knowing what to expect from the man who'd felt the same about him for so long...  
  
Bob blinked, shocked. "You serious?" he asked, not sure what to think.  
  
Jay rolled his eyes. "No, I'm shittin' ya. Of course I'm serious, you dumb fuck! I just bared my soul to you n' shit!"  
  
Bob blushed, feeling bad. "I'm sorry, I just... I never expected..."  
  
Jay nodded in understanding, and reached a hand out to stroke Bob's cheek. "'Salright..."  
  
Bob pulled Jay into his lap and wrapped strong arms around him, "You know..."  
  
"You love me too? Shit yeah, I know that," Jay said with a smile, leaning his head against Bob's shoulder.  
  
Bob raised an eyebrow. "Well, it bares saying. I love you."  
  
"How come you's talkin' more now than you have in years, anyways?"  
  
Bob rolled his eyes. Jay always had a tendency to flick from one thing to another. "Is it relevant?"  
  
"Not really."  
  
"Then it doesn't matter."  
  
"Whatever, man. So, you gonna kiss me, or are we just gonna sit here for a couple hours touchin' faces 'n' shit?" Jay rubbed his forehead against Bob's cheek.  
  
"Maybe we will," Bob said with a chuckle.  
  
"Oh no no, you ain't gettin' away with that shit!" Jay turned a bit, wrapped his arms around Bob's shoulders, and kissed him softly.  
  
Bob held Jay tight and kissed back, making an odd, purring sound low in his throat.  
  
Jay sighed and broke the kiss slowly, then slowly, delicately, brought a hand up to brush his fingers over the heavy man's lips. What the hell had he been worried about? He loved Bob, and that's all that mattered...  
  
*This invisible city  
Where no one sees nothing  
We're touching faces in the dark  
Feelin' pretty is so hard*  
  
***  
Disclaimer: I own diddly squat. Jay and Silent Bob are property of Kevin Smith, View Askew, Miramax, and the Martians that live in Scott Mosier's left ear.  
  
"Invisible City" was written by Jacob Dylan, and is, as such, his property. I am but a humble worshipper of him and his father.  
  
***  
  
Notes: I literally woke up on...Saturday, I think it was. I'm not sure, since I've been absent from school for over a week (I'm a sickly sick kinda person. Gra.) and the days kinda melt together after a while.   
  
Anyway, back to what I was saying. I woke up with three things stabbing at my brain with pitchforks.  
  
One, the song "Invisible City" by The Wallflowers was stuck in my head. Particularly the "We're touching faces in the dark" line.  
  
Two, the inspiration for this fic. Particularly the image of Jay and Bob touching eachothers' faces softly in a generally dark place. I wonder what part of the song inspired that?  
  
Three, I really, really, really had to pee. *snerk*  
  
I really like this one, simply because I always have trouble writing mush, simply because it's hard to explain feelings so strong as love and devotions. They make more sense when felt than when described, though that goes for a lot of emotions.  
  
***  
  
Questions? Comments? Chewed Gum? E-mail me at Druidess@msn.com  
  
***  
  
Visit the Jay & Silent Bob Slash mailing list! Tons of romance involving your favourite stoners! I'm not just an advocate, I'm a member! Enjoy!  
  
http://groups.yahoo.com/group/JayandSilentBob-slash  
  
***  
  
Thanks for reading! Please drop a review before you leave! Thankoo! 


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